Thorns
by FashionDiva7
Summary: Roses thoughts on who she is....


**Hello. Yeah, for any of you who read the original of this story, you're probably pretty confused. Well, I'm on a mission to bring up the quality level of all of my stories. Because with the exception of "stargazing" they all are really crappy quality. I hope you enjoy this, please let me know if it is an improvement!**

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**Thorns**

_Rose..._

They say a name represents you. Is you. Defines you. They say that names are like personal advertisements, telling the world who you are. Exposing you. Labeling you. Making you fit into some sort of unchangable category.

But names can be misleading I suppose. Mine is. Roses are beautiful flowers, are they not? If they weren't, they wouldn't be seen as symbols of romance and love. They wouldn't be recieved with delight and excitement by thousands of girls each febuary. Roses are simple really. They're pretty to look at, but there's not much else to them.

_Rose..._

For years I wondered why I had recieved such and innocent, sweet, girly name. My...extracurriculars...are far from girly and sweet. I'm a slayer, a killer. Not some trophy, or a cheerleader. After all this time, I am still piecing together the mystery of why I was named Rose.

But then I realized that the majority of the world sees them after they've been changed. You know, after they've been cut from the twisted jumble of thorns people like to call a rosebush. People only see the commercialized version. The tamed, dressed up version.

I can relate to this. The act I put on for school...it's nothing more than a mask. Behind my pretty face lies a tangled interior of emotions and secrets. A life that I can never be honest with. Never joke around about or complain about to my friends. I can't be honest with people when I really need someone to talk to. I just cant. I must be good at playing the part, for everyone thinks of me as that little girl without a care in the world. I wish.

If my biggest concerns were about impressing boys, wearing the right clothes, hanging with the right crowd...it would be a relief. Fighting in a war that no one even knows about? It's too much to bear. I feel as if one day, I'll just break. Tell the entire world about Magic and the Huntsclan. I know this can never be, but fantasizing about it is probably the only thing that keeps me sane. If others knew, if I weren't so alone, all the time...

_Rose..._

Destiny. It's an interesting concept, don't you agree? It would be so easy to believe that there was a plan for each of us, and that it would just unfold for us. We wouldnt have to work for anything, because it would just be destined to happen. I used to believe in it all...I used to believe I had a destiny. My uncle claimed that I did, and who was I to argue? It gave me such a feeling of strength, and determination. That belief in destiny is what drove me for years. It was the focus of my life.

What a waste of my life. I cant believe I was fooled for even an instant, let alone years at a time. You see, my beliefs...they all shattered just days ago. My world came crashing down, and my reality cracked into tiny pieces I knew I'd never be able to recreate again. Everything I knew was going to change, and I didnt know if it was for the better, or for the worse.

First impressions. We put so much weight into them, believing them so firmly. I should have known, what with my own double life, that appearences can be deceiving. The walls of my reality crumbled when I discovered the only person who had ever really cared about me...was the very one who I fought so hard to destroy. All of my rage and hate had been placed wrongly onto him for so long. I was blindly following the path my cruel uncle had laid out for me. I felt so stupid. So painfully stupid.

_Rose..._

When someone is exposed to an event that shocks them to core, it can have very unique results. When I found out I was hunting the closest person I had to a family, I did the only thing I could think of. I ran away. I panicked, threw some clothes in a bag and attempted to hitch hike my way across the country. It was a stupid plan, and I dont even have to right to mourn it's failure. By the time the huntsclan found me and brought me back, I had come to terms with the sloppiness of my attempt. I was smarter than this, so why had I failed so miserably?

I accepted that there was no getting out. This was my life. I couldnt escape it no matter what the distance I put between myself and the Huntsclan. It was a part of me, just as much as the birthmark that declared my a hunter. An eternal mark of my slavery to hunting the creatures of magic. When I realized escape was not an option, I focused on obtainable goals. Namely, devoting my time to learning all the inner secrets of the clan.

My deepest hope remains that he will one day find me again. Break into this prison the Huntsman calls a lair. Save me. I know that my life in the clan is worth less than nothing. I'm disposable. Useless. It's only a matter of time before they discover my betrayal and decide I've lived long enough. I have to live. I have to live so that I can see him once more.

I need to tell him that I still love him. No matter what he is. What I am. That is, if he feels the same.

Over time, I have come to realize that it is my gift, my curse, that no one can see the tangled web inside me... For I am nearly broken. I will hold on. They will not break me.

"Rose?"

That voice. _It can't be..._

**So, improvement? Has it gone downhill? Please let me know so I can continue to improve my stories!**


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